Inspire me control

Just noticed I made a mess with the blog settings and forgot to edit them. Back in the day my boy was sooo close to find this blog, so I panicked, did everything I could to hide it and forgot to fix it. So well yeah I wasn't gone. Just forgot that I was invisible.


Today I've decided to go for a more optimistic post.
My 18th birthday will be in one week. I wanted to be 52 kg by then. At the time I was 55 so it seemed quite achievable. Now I'm stuck at 58 (some days 57, some others 59) and losing 6 kg to never get them back in only one week seems really impossible.
Despite this I want to try not to put my self down. Getting depressed only makes me lazier and it gets easier for me to lose the control and binge (like this morning).
Felt quite a shit cause after binging (2 damn croissants. I fucking hate my mum. She knows I'm trying to eat less and she keeps putting those warm, great croissants under my nose. And yeah I don't have enough control. Croissants and Strudel are the only things I can't really help my self eating. And she fucking knows that! Sometimes I really think she does this just cause she's envious that I am still young and my body could still look gorgeous- yeah could=if I lost these 15 Kg-) even because right after that my parents told me we would have gone out to eat at the restaurant.
Yeah that was really frustrating. Even cause I've already stayed at home instead of going to my grandma yesterday, and my father was already upset for that. I couldn't pretend to be sick and said I needed to study. They would have made me go there anyway.




But instead of vomiting, feeling a shit and obtain just a sore throat and some liquids loss, I've decided to keep calm and find another way so sort things out.


After all I gotta study pretty hard. Gotta start my exams on the 20th and have to get my thesis done by that time. And revise all the programs (tot of <3000 pages) so this is gonna be quite...intense. For tomorrow I gotta learn (cause I'm a couch potato and haven't done it before) like 400 pages of astronomy and geology and revise around 300 of history. Have quite a long night to face, indeed.
So if I add like a salad or some fish at the 2 croissants (around 500 calories) I should get not over 700 calories total. Which is definitely too much for a whole day, yeah. But after studying all that stuff a bit will be consumed and, more important, after all the sugar free coffee I'm gonna drink I won't definitely be able to eat the day after. Want to go to sleep early and then start doing things a bit more differently.
Studying all the day will drive my self crazy. I need some time for my self, and I need to do something different at the times, or I will probably just burn my brain (not that it works particularly well anyway).


Sooooo my plan should consist in going for a run at early morning (I'm not going to expect to run for 2 km the first day, of course, but, you know "from little things, big things grow) then coming back home and doing some work outs- shower- drink loads of tea and coffee and exercise when I want to get a rest. I will allow my self a lot of fruit, some veggies and a little of chicken or fish or egg's white, to get some proteins.
ABSOLUTELY NOT MILK, BREAD AND ALL THOSE FATTENING THINGS I ALWAYS TAKE.


I would allow my self a bit of chocolate, because it helps keeping focused, but only if I'm gonna go some more work outs and that would be the only thing I eat.

Food doesn't have to be my first thought anymore.
My life has.
My duties have.
My work has.
Gotta also think about uni. Awww...
well maybe I won't get up to 50 kg (which was the weight I wanted to be when going to Australia, hoping to lose those other 5 kg there), but hopefully all this stress and proper exercise will help me getting out of that fucking number!!
Do the same things, get the same old results.
What I'm doing now is surely not helping.
Let's hope that after this change I'll get some results.

(Really hope I can get to Oz weighting max 55 kg)




Stay focused, stay strong.




















































































Every time you eat you give up this:

To get this:

Are you sure you want that biscuit?

You're the one who can make this choice.

You're the one who can make the right choice.

Do you want it?

Then just make it happen